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Memorial Day

The Maine Veterans Memorial Cemetery in Caribou was dedicated on June 1, 2003. The land was graciously donated by John and Joyce Noble of Caribou -- 33.4 acres. Together with devoted veterans, their generosity provides a final resting place for those who faithfully served this country. These are heroes that believed the tenets of American democracy was well worth dying for. Their noble sacrifice is a rhetorical reproach to the entitlement of this current generation. While we claim our freedom, be mindful that thousands have laid down their lives for our peace. The suffering these veterans endured is tattooed on their soul. So here's the thing, all of these souls came from many different backgrounds and beliefs. Yet they had one thing in common, they loved America enough to die for her. As you gather with friends and family this weekend, recognize and remember those who sacrificed so much for so many. Consider ways you can demonstrate that by: Exercise: Make a phone call,...

Old Habits Die Hard

We don't know how much will miss our habits and addictions until they are gone, like an old friend. We are creatures of habit, and we gravitate towards the comfort of our patterns. And we validate our learned behavior from role models who were not always making the best decisions. Breaking a habit is very complicated. Brain research shows us that the worn pathways of our routines can be remapped, but it will not be easy. And after the age of 25, it becomes even harder to break a bad habit. Most addictions form not only as a means to avoid discomfort, but also to gain pleasure. When we seek to break a bad habit, we can expect much anguish. And with the most subtle instigation, bad habits can be reignited. You can go a year in abstinence, and then give in one time and the practice comes right back and sweeps you away like a riptide. The antidote to break a bad habit is to form a new parallel pattern of behavior. Habits are easier to make than they are to break. For example, i...

A Mother's Identity

There are many stages of motherhood. Whether we face those stages as a single mom, a stepmom, a foster mom, or with a reliable partner, we are not immune to the modifications mothering has on us. With the tsunami of parenting tasks, we run the risk of losing our identity. At the very least motherhood will transform our being. We enter motherhood with anticipation and expectation. Nesting and euphoric optimism pervades. Permission is granted to slow down, exercise less, and eat more. We tend to disregard our own basic needs. It is imperative you set the tone for how to you will take care of yourself. Exercise with your baby. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Understand that weight loss happens in the kitchen so organize and meal prep. Adopt the moto cook once; eat twice. Before we know it, we enter the exhaustion stage, survival mode. We simply cannot do it all and do it all well. Running simple errands with little ones in tow is complicated. When they are tiny, we justify and say tha...

Motivation

Some people wonder why their life never moves forward. Sometimes the missing piece is simply motivation. At its core level motivation is the determination that propels us to make our ideas, dreams, and desires a reality. Motivation is twofold, motivation to getting started and motivation to keep the momentum going. This sounds like an easy plan, but in the grand scheme of things apathy and the fear of failure or even the fear of success can jeopardize your motivation. We can set our goal to run a 5k or a marathon in honor of a departed loved one or a cause near to our heart. Often, this begins as a great idea but ends as a dreadful notion. We may start with overzealous training regiments but very quickly revert to old habits. So why do we do this? Maybe it is merely that we are not clear about our exact purpose or intentions. We may think we are running in honor of someone, but perhaps our real goal is something deeper within ourselves. If we are not clear on why then we quickly ...

The More You Have

“The more you have, the more you are occupied, the less you give. But the less you have, the more free you are.” ~ Mother Teresa We can become prisoners to our possessions. At the same time, freedom can lure us from responsibilities. There is a tension between ownership and freedom, a constant pull from each side. The more things you have, the less selfless acts you have to give. It’s not even about balance. It’s not an equation. Instead, it is a constant tug-of-war, and both sides demand sacrifices. If you are passionately pursuing ownership of something, a house, a boat, a motorcycle, a hot tub, you cannot be entirely available to others who need you. Tension and sacrifice. So here’s the thing, if buying all this stuff still has not made you happy, then maybe getting rid of it will. The less you have, the more freedom you have. Because the mindset of more we have the more we want is real. When we satisfy one want, we become aware of other areas of lack and desire. It creates t...

Gardening

I feel at home in my quiet woods, and I feel consoled by the deep, clear pond as well as the tempestuous ocean. A run through meadows of wildflowers, a hike above treeline, and a dip in a waterfall grotto melts away familiar but most unwelcomed tension. I love nature. It is not easy to block time to connect with nature, even given where I live. I am truly blessed to call this place home. It is almost planting season. Most seedlings have taken root, reaching capacity and beckoning to be transplanted outdoors into direct sunlight. As we dig into the soil, it becomes a repetitive, meditative process. While the fresh air is incredibly invigorating, at the same time, it is very grounding to spend time planting, pruning and cultivating. Nurturing plants requires us to cultivate an understanding of the conditions needed to thrive. What type of soil is best? How much sunlight? How much water? What to plant near each other? How to rotate the crops? Do I sound like a farmer’s daughter?...

The Handshake

The handshake. It is a simple gesture that reveals much in two seconds. There are countless conjectures on what a handshake reveals about someone. Some indicate there is no correlation between a handshake and the character of an individual. Others adhere that the handshake manner is learned and cannot be unlearned. The truth is somewhere between these various opinions and our own personal experiences. The handshake is multifaceted. Similar to body language, there is research showing a connection between handshake strength and brain function. So let’s address that. What is your immediate reaction to these handshakes: dead fish, hand hug, bone crusher, yank and pull? Which handshake types send a negative message of dominance, aggressiveness, insecurity, nervousness? Which handshake is warm and welcoming? So here’s the thing, people will judge you by your handshake. Ninety percent of what we think about a person is determined in that 7-second window of opportunity. The customar...