The Handshake





The handshake. It is a simple gesture that reveals much in two seconds. There are countless conjectures on what a handshake reveals about someone. Some indicate there is no correlation between a handshake and the character of an individual. Others adhere that the handshake manner is learned and cannot be unlearned. The truth is somewhere between these various opinions and our own personal experiences.

The handshake is multifaceted. Similar to body language, there is research showing a connection between handshake strength and brain function. So let’s address that. What is your immediate reaction to these handshakes: dead fish, hand hug, bone crusher, yank and pull? Which handshake types send a negative message of dominance, aggressiveness, insecurity, nervousness? Which handshake is warm and welcoming?

So here’s the thing, people will judge you by your handshake. Ninety percent of what we think about a person is determined in that 7-second window of opportunity. The customary handshake actually began during medieval times as a gesture of neutrality to show neither party was carrying weapons. So when you think about it, any type of threatening handshake is contrary to the custom. An excellent handshake illustrates your charm and confidence.

Exercise: Evaluate your handshaking methods and practice one that sends the message that best represents you.
  • My hands are always cold, so I try to warm them up if I know I’m going to to be shaking someone’s hand. And if I do not have time, then I do acknowledge and apologize.
  • I wait for the person in authority to offer their hand first. But if they do not, I extend mine.
  • I typically hold for a two count with medium strength, sometimes in a warm hand hug. 
  • I look in the person’s eyes long enough to see their eye color.
  • I clearly say my first and last name, and I anticipate having to repeat my last name.
  • In other cultures, I may merely bow my head.

My Life’s Lesson: Do not get hung up on the handshake meaning unless it is the meaning you want to project. Some people believe what they read even if it is wrong. Let the handshake represent a small portion of your impression and create space and opportunity for people to show you who they really are.

From the sweetest spot in my heart to yours, may your week be full of warm and welcoming greetings.
~Audrey

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