HeartBeat

A doctor friend shared with me that in his research it is noted that the young adult brain develops fully only in the mid-twenties. The frontal cortex matures more slowly in young minds. He shared there is a stress response in the prefrontal cortex. So in regards to PTSD, it is common when young people experience trauma on the frontline. This conversation gave me much pause. Research tells us that approximately 70% of Americans have lived through a traumatic event or experience. An estimated 20% of them will develop PTSD. It’s denial, misinterpretation, and misdiagnosis as well as stigma has a considerable impact on the quality of life.  A friend recently told me, “Audrey you’ve lived a lifetime already. You shouldn't even be this happy. How is it even possible?” After years of having my self-confidence confiscated from me, coupled with my own tendency of playing small and underselling myself, I have no apology for embracing my new found happiness and self-assuredness. So how ...

It’s a tender subject, forgiveness, stirring up lots of memories and churning emotional gravity. Forgiveness though is indeed heart medicine. When we forgive the unforgivable, we do so for ourselves, for our release.  To be clear, forgiving does not mean forgetting. And forgiving does not guarantee a return to the status quo - nor should it. Forgiving is choosing to alleviate ourselves from the burden of being the victim. Know this circumstance does not define you. So, hold compassion for yourself and know your situation is temporary.  Months ago, I was walking along the surf when this thought washed over me and pervaded me for months: Forgive him. He knows not what he did.  That resonated with me for quite some time. I delved into the etymology of the verb to know and developed this synthesis:  His "knowing" is limited to his experiences. The process of forgiving challenges us to shift our thinking. For me, it was a huge paradigm shift.  ...

Today marks the 5th year I walk this earth without my brother, my sidekick. You don’t need to know the details of the series of unfortunate events in my life to grasp the big takeaway, my life’s lesson. We are not to dwell on horrific events, focus instead on he lived - how Chris lived every day.  His acts of kindness were not random-acts-of-kindness. Chris set an intention every day to help someone suffer less. Over the last few years, several have shared detailed stories about exactly how Chris had helped them. As much as a confidante in Chris’ life that I was, not once did he share any of his greatest humanitarian efforts with me. He kept that very private.  When we choose to expose ourselves to the full impact of poverty and pain, we feel the pangs of compassion, but also the intense emotions of those in need. That is empathy.  And this empathy becomes the catalyst that compels us to put aside our care and focus on charitable, loving endeavors that will...