No Apology for Happiness
A doctor friend shared with me that in his research it is noted that the young adult brain develops fully only in the mid-twenties. The frontal cortex matures more slowly in young minds. He shared there is a stress response in the prefrontal cortex. So in regards to PTSD, it is common when young people experience trauma on the frontline. This conversation gave me much pause. Research tells us that approximately 70% of Americans have lived through a traumatic event or experience. An estimated 20% of them will develop PTSD. It’s denial, misinterpretation, and misdiagnosis as well as stigma has a considerable impact on the quality of life.
A friend recently told me, “Audrey you’ve lived a lifetime already. You shouldn't even be this happy. How is it even possible?” After years of having my self-confidence confiscated from me, coupled with my own tendency of playing small and underselling myself, I have no apology for embracing my new found happiness and self-assuredness. So how did I get there?
Rewire the brain. For the last two years, I set in motion radical self-care. I begin my day with gratitude and appreciation. Every morning I find three simple things in which I am grateful. It may be as simple as a refreshing beach walk, a professional conversation with a colleague, or listening to great music with a perfect cup of coffee - or wine. It’s also important to begin to self-appreciation. Identify three things you appreciate about yourself. Honoring your strengths can be an area of struggle; I can lend credence to that.
Nonetheless, I appreciate that I can make people feel welcome and at ease and make them laugh with my quick-wittedness, that I am in my element in the kitchen, and that I carry a unique, almost magical, presence in the educational setting. I live in humble gratitude for the gifts bestowed on me. Three is arbitrary. There is no limit. You see, if praise is familiar, then criticism is unfamiliar. Reach out and connect with an accountability partner. Every morning I send a text to 3 like-minded friends. Not only do we hold each other accountable in the utmost confidence, but we also create deep, abiding friendships. They know my spirit, my mind, and my heart.
Deepen your self-care. Take care of your mind, body, and spirit, your own well-being. Establish daily habits: implement healthy eating, take high-quality supplements, meditate in quiet, exercise at your pace, reduce your screen time, practice your passion, be creative, spend time in nature, hydrate, listen to music. Ironically, this daily self-care practice requires a modicum of happiness.
However, sadly this comes with a warning: From my perspective, not everyone is going to like this, the business of you putting yourself first. Know that when you draw the proverbial line in the sand, you will make enemies.
In my experience, there was a colossal feng shui of my friends and family list. Discern your circle of friends. Seek out supportive relationships. Widen your social circle. Despite how painfully shy I am, putting myself out where I meet new friends is the best thing I ever did for myself. Uplifting friends embrace your well being and happiness; they motivate and believe in you. They do not feel the need to change you. Examine how you feel after spending time with them. Do you feel energized, joyful and confident? If they not, let them go. Let - them - go. These are not your people. This is not your tribe. Shift happens.
So consider this, do not box in yourself. We are by nature cheerful, compassionate, apathetic, angry, depressed, repressed, oppressed, expressive, extroverted, introverted. That’s the hard truth. We have genetic predispositions, and we are under the influence of family, culture, and habits. It's time to reverse the damage. From my standpoint, it was years of being torn down and stifled, so a rebuild was not a quick, easy fix. It takes time and consistency and accountability.
My life’s lesson:
Inner strength is the way to unshakable outer stability.
Peace starts within us - we cannot bring to the world what we do not have to offer.
If you never put yourself first, this is your wake-up call. Answer the call. Where are your priorities? Start somewhere, start where you’re comfortable, start where you are uncomfortable and get the forward motion going. Happiness isn't an emotion: it's a state of being.
In my opinion, the worst is over in The Best is yet to come.
May peace, Love and Understanding be yours in 2019.
A friend recently told me, “Audrey you’ve lived a lifetime already. You shouldn't even be this happy. How is it even possible?” After years of having my self-confidence confiscated from me, coupled with my own tendency of playing small and underselling myself, I have no apology for embracing my new found happiness and self-assuredness. So how did I get there?
Rewire the brain. For the last two years, I set in motion radical self-care. I begin my day with gratitude and appreciation. Every morning I find three simple things in which I am grateful. It may be as simple as a refreshing beach walk, a professional conversation with a colleague, or listening to great music with a perfect cup of coffee - or wine. It’s also important to begin to self-appreciation. Identify three things you appreciate about yourself. Honoring your strengths can be an area of struggle; I can lend credence to that.
Nonetheless, I appreciate that I can make people feel welcome and at ease and make them laugh with my quick-wittedness, that I am in my element in the kitchen, and that I carry a unique, almost magical, presence in the educational setting. I live in humble gratitude for the gifts bestowed on me. Three is arbitrary. There is no limit. You see, if praise is familiar, then criticism is unfamiliar. Reach out and connect with an accountability partner. Every morning I send a text to 3 like-minded friends. Not only do we hold each other accountable in the utmost confidence, but we also create deep, abiding friendships. They know my spirit, my mind, and my heart.
Deepen your self-care. Take care of your mind, body, and spirit, your own well-being. Establish daily habits: implement healthy eating, take high-quality supplements, meditate in quiet, exercise at your pace, reduce your screen time, practice your passion, be creative, spend time in nature, hydrate, listen to music. Ironically, this daily self-care practice requires a modicum of happiness.
However, sadly this comes with a warning: From my perspective, not everyone is going to like this, the business of you putting yourself first. Know that when you draw the proverbial line in the sand, you will make enemies.
In my experience, there was a colossal feng shui of my friends and family list. Discern your circle of friends. Seek out supportive relationships. Widen your social circle. Despite how painfully shy I am, putting myself out where I meet new friends is the best thing I ever did for myself. Uplifting friends embrace your well being and happiness; they motivate and believe in you. They do not feel the need to change you. Examine how you feel after spending time with them. Do you feel energized, joyful and confident? If they not, let them go. Let - them - go. These are not your people. This is not your tribe. Shift happens.
So consider this, do not box in yourself. We are by nature cheerful, compassionate, apathetic, angry, depressed, repressed, oppressed, expressive, extroverted, introverted. That’s the hard truth. We have genetic predispositions, and we are under the influence of family, culture, and habits. It's time to reverse the damage. From my standpoint, it was years of being torn down and stifled, so a rebuild was not a quick, easy fix. It takes time and consistency and accountability.
My life’s lesson:
Inner strength is the way to unshakable outer stability.
Peace starts within us - we cannot bring to the world what we do not have to offer.
If you never put yourself first, this is your wake-up call. Answer the call. Where are your priorities? Start somewhere, start where you’re comfortable, start where you are uncomfortable and get the forward motion going. Happiness isn't an emotion: it's a state of being.
In my opinion, the worst is over in The Best is yet to come.
May peace, Love and Understanding be yours in 2019.
~Audrey
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