Being Alone


This week heaven gained my family’s earth angel. As difficult as it is to sit with sadness, I am grateful for every visit, particularly my last visit with Aunt Bern last Saturday on her 91st birthday. I did not have to say a thing, she just knew and wrapped her words around my heart.

We watched a Catholic mass on the small television in her hospital room. She gazed out the window several times beyond the cemetery at the church steeple piercing the sky. Then she reached across and held my hand. And as she spoke, hot tears streamed down my face. Her words burned in my mind and when I got to my car I wrote them all down in my journal.

 Time is passing so quickly. Do not be afraid. You will be loved. It never happened for me, but you will be loved again. You won’t be alone for long. You were betrayed and you have nothing to be ashamed of. God has not abandoned you, sweetheart. Be sure of your intentions. You need to have confidence. God is clearing the way for you. He is removing all the bad people from your life. You are not abandoned; it might seem like it.  You are protected. 

Being alone is not easy because society places so much pressure on romantic partnerships, to the point where I had to die to self to maintain the relationship and ironically, I still felt like a castaway. I decided that rediscovering my own interests, and pursuing my dreams is my priority. Being alone is self-nourishing. It creates a space in relationships that allows for growth.

So here’s the thing, choosing to be alone sets a powerful intention. When it is my choice to be alone, it gives me the power and the advantage to attract the right people into my life. I am comfortable with being alone, and I can be in an equal relationship. I also believe in the natural flow and that the right partner will blend and share with what I have created.

Exercise: Spend some alone time.

Take yourself out on a date.
Teach yourself an instrument.
Go for a walk.
Take a course in something that interests you.
Go to a concert.
Start a home improvement project.
Go stargazing.
Create a solitude space in your home.
*Do not check your phone.

I find that carving out daily alone time nourishes me and shifts my expectations of myself and others. Choosing to enjoy being alone gives me license to fully explore. I have learned that I make everything fun and that I am a low-maintenance lady with high standards.

Ponder this:
What is the biggest obstacle deterring me from spending time alone?

My Life’s Lesson: The absolute most important relationship in my life is my relationship with myself. 

From the sweetest spot in my heart to yours, may you embrace time alone to rediscover your joy.

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