Weight of Words



I often begin my day with a personalized coffee mug. What do you think? Would I rather drink my morning coffee from a cup inscribed Seize the Day, #blessed, or one written with You Can't Fix Stupid? Words have the power to elevate or devastate. Neutral is non-existent. I can undoubtedly recount times when I was highly complimented as well as deeply wounded by someone's words. I am guilty of it too. Even unintentionally, as I may rush to get my point across. After all, these are the days of multitasking, deadlines, and dehumanizing.

Let's face it, some people do just like to hear the sound of their own voice. It makes them feel good about themselves. In my opinion, there may be a time and a place for sarcastic or cynical conversations with close friends or old college buddies. Or maybe when I am speaking to a confidant to vent about some negative situation. In my experience, when others see no value in talking to me, there will likely be a rift in the relationship. I work hard to add value to my conversations, even with the simplicity of humor or joy. Recently, I have been much more challenged to have those enriching conversations.

So here's the thing, recent political rhetoric is changing the way we communicate. Our biases affect our behavior, actions, and words - even our public policy. There is a shift in what we view as tolerable. Whether you are on the left or the right, the talk is becoming polarizing. To think before we speak is not enough. We first need an uprising to change the way we think. Minding your thoughts is where it all begins. We must set an intention for how we want to come across. We cannot just weigh our words with likeminded people. If we can harness the power of our words in conversation, we can transform the world.

Excercise:
Take 5 minutes to reflect and write down the negative thoughts that ruminate through your mind about people with whom you converse. It may be based on work, family, friends...
Then re-write those. Frame your thoughts more positively. Avoid using the word "but" as it can imply that you are a victim, justified, and take no responsibility.
ie:
     But her voice is so irritating, and she continually interrupts me.
     Reframe: She was born with a high pitched voice she has to live with, and she has ideas she is excited to share.
     But whenever I am in his group, I just know it's going to be the worst day.
     Reframe: I am far too worthy to concern myself with his problems and to allow him to control my emotions.
     But I will never agree with her politics.
     Reframe:  I do not always agree with her, but it is always nice to see both sides of the coin.  
   
With daily practice, the negative feelings will begin to dissipate. When we feel and think differently, we act differently.

Ponder:
In terms of the words you choose in conversation, what can you do less of? What can you do more of?

My Life's Lesson: Every so often, silence says more than words ever could. No response is indeed a response.

 From the sweetest spot in my heart to yours, may your words be light and your heart full,
Audrey xo

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