Book Review: When You Find My Body by D. Dauphinee

I recently read Dee Dauphinee’s book, When You Find My Body, a memoir of the search for lost Appalachian Trail through hiker, Geraldine Largay. I listened to the audiobook three times, which is read with a pace and the sense of urgency the situation called for. I then read the hardcopy cover to cover, pondering over the epigraphs which emphatically introduce each chapter. As an avid, elite hiker, filled with wanderlust, this story struck a deep chord.

I had Google Alerts set up for Gerry Largay so that I would not miss a whisper of hope. It was the summer of 2013. I had just hiked Mount Abraham. I squeezed it in between the torrential rains flooding us that month. I proudly checked it off my list of New England’s Highest Summits. I recounted the Reddington hike. The only way to Reddington is via a bushwack. It is always a pleasant surprise when making it back to your vehicle at the trailhead. The woods swallow you whole. The forest seems to get thicker every year above the 45th parallel. Despite its vastness, there is minimal margin for error in the lush Maine Woods.

Author Dee Dauphinee has been a mountaineering guide, a fly flying fishing guide, and a backcountry guide and photographer for over 30 years. He has led many expeditions on four continents through mountains, jungles, and deserts. He scaled above 20,000 feet more than a dozen times. He has participated in many search and rescue organizations. He was once on Mount Washington on a cold January day about 35 years ago when the winds recorded were between 78-128 mph, to which Dee called “Fun!” This past week he was in a Harvard library, researching for his next book. He is a renaissance man of sorts. He is a lover of nature and well-grounded. He is a well-published author and family man, living in Central Maine. If anyone can do Gerry’s story justice, it is Dee Dauphinee.

Dauphinee’s book recounts the facts of Gerry Largay’s disappearance. Largay was last seen on July 22, 2013, leaving the Poplar Ridge lean-to. More than two years later, Gerry’s body was found by a contractor conducting a forestry survey. Chief Medical Examiner determined her death accidental due to lack of food and water as well as environmental exposure. Along with her remains, was her journal. The last ghostly passage made public - “When you find my body, please call my husband George … and my daughter Kerry. It would be the greatest kindness for them to know that I am dead and where you found me—no matter how many years from now.”

Dauphinee was entrusted with Gerry’s personal information, and he has read her eloquent and lucid entries. Though her story is somber, Dauphinee preserves her vivaciousness. Well researched, this memoir brings much credibility to her story. For example, Dauphinee learned what it was like to be lost in the Maine woods by drawing upon the personal experience of Donn Fendler, who eighty years ago at age 12, was lost for nine days near Katahdin.

Dauphinee is a truth-seeker and delivers with tact, grace, and honesty while preserving Largay’s dignity and confidentiality. What really moves me is that he does all this without interviewing the family. He gave them space and the respect they need, and he did the hard work dissecting Gerry’s journal entries and interviewing countless search and rescue leaders, game wardens, as well as various fellow hikers. Numerous emails, trips, library research. Structurally, the book spirals and comes back around to include these many thoughtful viewpoints. Cover to cover it is about a 4-hour read. The brevity amplifies truth and seals it in our mind.

Through his in-depth research, Dauphinee dispels many of the rumors circulating about her disappearance. He debunks several conspiracy theories: the husband did it, the Navy SERES did it, she did it, etc. He discusses how to be prepared to be in the woods, how to prepare in the event of being lost, and the psychological factors that come to play when lost. Dauphinee answers the questions: Why were the search parties futile? Why were the canine search teams ineffective? Why were the aerial efforts pointless?

So here’s the thing, as an experienced hiker, I know that if you can hike in New England, you can hike anywhere.  Above the 45th parallel, there is a climate change. Trails are thick and rooty and less impacted. Like Largay, I am an experienced hiker in excellent health, with a poor sense of direction, with a fear of the dark and to be alone. There were times in the Colorado Rockies when I knew I was in over my head. It could happen to anyone. It could happen to me.

I now do fewer solo hikes, wear colorful clothing, carry map and compass, increase food reserve, stick to a concrete and shared hiking plan, despite my spontaneity and sense of childlike fun. Largay's unfortunate situation curbed my summit fever. I no longer ignore hazards along the way to tag the peaks. It’s a mountain; it will be there.

Exercise: Read the book or listen to the audiobook. It is not just for hikers. This is a Maine lore that reviews the facts, weaves the raw emotions, and raises a cautionary flag to do things differently. Draw your personal lesson from this memoir.

Dauphinee inserts an epigraph at the beginning of each chapter to infer a theme and to deliver a lesson.
Ponder these epigraphs:
How many things would you attempt if you knew you would not fail? - Robert Frost
What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything? - Vincent Van Gogh

My Life’s Lesson:  To die as I have lived is really a blessing. 

From the sweetest spot in my heart to yours, the final words of Gerry Largay, my deepest love to you,
Audrey xo